Scott Selwood delivers his eulogy for brother Troy, as Joel and Adam watch on during the service at Kardinia Park. (Getty Images:)
Upon the ground that helped etch their name into Aussie Rules folklore, three brothers stood bravely together in the face of utter tragedy.
These brothers were no strangers to courage on the field.
In footy parlance, when "it's your turn to go" it means it's time you put your head down and grit your teeth, risking pain and injury for the sake of the team — and all three of these boys had done that in spades across their footy careers.
But on this clear Friday morning at Kardinia Park, their turn to go meant something entirely different.
Scott and Joel Selwood holds hands as Troy's twin brother, Adam, delivers his eulogy. (Getty Images: Michael Willson)
One by one they filed up to the lectern to face that most exhausting opponent of all, one masked in a cloud of grief, sadness, misery and loss.
A West Coast premiership player. An Eagles club best and fairest. An out-and-out Geelong legend.
Brilliant footballers — but at the heart of it, siblings in mourning.
A twin without his other half. A little brother without his big mate. A middle brother trying to make sense of it all.
Adam, Scott and Joel Selwood stood on that stage overlooking the casket that held their older brother, Troy, and each of them took their turns to go.
For all of their footballing royalty, for all of the golden glow that has radiated around the Selwood family name for the better part of two decades, this was simply a family going through a moment in time that all families hope they will never have to experience.
As they faced their opponent head on, arms twitched in an attempt shrug tears, deep breaths were taken in the search for composure, and in the most brotherly way possible, humour was used to break through the fog.
"[This crowd is] bigger than the Suns' final home game, I would've thought," Scott said as he shuffled his papers nervously looking up at the scores of people who watched on from the stands above.
Brit, Joel, Maree, Bryce and Adam Selwood look on as the guard of honour for Troy forms. (Getty Images: Michael Willson)
That humour, that shared joy of the journey that they had taken together, permeated throughout Troy Selwood's memorial at Geelong's home ground.
The story of Troy being carried out of his Brisbane apartment by firefighters having fallen asleep while steaming dim sims.Â
The story of the game where Troy earned his one and only Brownlow vote in 2007 for the Lions against Joel's Cats, where Brisbane lost by 42 points and the brothers questioned whether the umpires had written down the wrong Selwood.
The story of the phone calls that Troy would promise would just be a quick one, before going on for 90 minutes.
These were the light moments that inevitably preceded those pauses as the brothers searched for composure, before their voices broke speaking about Troy's young family, about their mum and dad, and about the pain that Troy had fought through his life.
The glitz and glamour of football can often make us punters forget about reality.
'He put up a hell of a fight': Troy Selwood farewelled by AFL-playing brothers
Photo shows Adam Selwood kisses brother Joel on the head alongside Scott Selwood at Troy Selwood's funeral service.
Just two years ago we marvelled at the fairytale farewell Joel had experienced in the 2022 grand final, walking away from the game as a Geelong premiership captain, a legend of the club, and on the cusp of becoming a dad for the first time.
His brothers gathered around him, arm in arm, celebrating a magical moment, all four of them seemingly living perfect, uncomplicated lives.
But life is complicated. For all of us. Even when it seems from the outside that we might have it all.
On the morning that Troy died, the Selwood family sent out a press release around midday via AFL House announcing their heartbreak.Â
The release, unusually, preceded any leaked stories or social media whispers about Troy's death.
In the haze of their raw and exposed pain, they had identified the need to get out ahead of the media, to control the message early and to ensure that they would be left alone to manage their grief.
This was a family that knew the footy system having been a part of it for so long.
They had given themselves time to regroup, to mourn, and to find meaning.
Scott, Bryce, Brit, Joel, Maree, Troy and Adam Selwood together after Joel announced his retirement. (Getty Images: Morgan Hancock/AFL Photos)
And in the search for meaning, in that search for a silver lining to the darkest of clouds, this is a family which, when they feel it's their turn to go, will likely find ways to use their heartache for the future betterment of every player, coach, and staffer in the AFL.
The football world is consistently masked by that gleam that we all love as sport fans — but behind it lives the complications of anxiety, and fear, and mental health that impact us all, but seem increasingly and worryingly prevalent in the game.
If you or someone you know needs help:
- Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
- Lifeline on 13 11 14
- 13YARNÂ on 13 92 76
- Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800
- Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
- Headspace on 1800 650 890
- ReachOut at au.reachout.com
- MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978
Troy's story was a story of all of these complications.
A story of happiness, and sadness, of lucky breaks, and wretched injuries, of family, fame, and fortunes.
It is a story that we only tell here, on this website, because Troy was a part of a famous football family.
But ultimately, it is a story that is all too common, in professional and amateur sport, and life in general.
When you remove the cameras, the famous faces, and the grandstands, it is simply a story of a family torn apart trying to put it all back together. A story that could become our own with little warning, or little hope of recourse in time of need.
It is three brothers that were once four, and one word so often attached to the Selwood boys on the field, now living with them off it — courage.
The three brothers embrace after they had all delivered their euologies for Troy. (Getty Images: Michael Willson/AFL Photos)
The courage to share their stories. The courage to be there for Troy when he needed them. The courage to accept that sometimes, even giving everything may not be enough.
Courage is complicated.
But on that stage at Kardinia Park, facing their worst nightmare, those three boys showed every ounce of it to the footy world.
And for a group of brothers known for their courage on the field, this moment in time might just be the most courageous thing they've ever done on a footy field.
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